Archive for January, 2008

2008 Phillies: Playing for 2nd place

Posted in Johan Santana, Mets with tags , , , , , , on January 30, 2008 by jrfinger

Johan SantanaIt could go down that Johan Santana was involved in two of the most lopsided trades in baseball history. In addition to landing with the Mets from the Twins for a pile of potential prospects, the two-time Cy Young Award winner was once traded from the Marlins for a dude named Jared Camp.

That was after the Marlins plucked him away from the Astros in the Rule 5 Draft.

So yeah, there are a lot of smart baseball folks that missed the boat on Johan Santana. The Mets, however, are not one of those “smart” teams. Instead of feeling the knee-jerk blather from fans, pundits and Billy Wagner regarding the dearth of wintertime moves, the Mets now have the best pitcher in baseball at the top of the rotation.

We’d get into the analysis of how good Santana is with his statistics and all of that stuff, but what’s the point? He’s a lefty, he’s nasty and he’s better than everyone else in the game. Go look up the stats yourself, though I will give one warning before you click on the link - they should make Phillies fans a little sick in the stomach.

Out here in the hinterlands I really don’t get the full affect of the Philly sporting press’s deconstruction of the Santana deal, but then again who needs it. After all, it’s not the balance of power in the NL East that shifted with Santana’s arrival in Queens - it’s the balance of power in the entire National League that shifted.

Playoff baseball at Shea one last time, anyone?

The big question, of course, is what does it all mean for the Phillies. Well, for starters the Phillies will have to root for an even bigger and more epic collapse from the Mets down the stretch. They also have to root for an injury to Santana, though the guy hasn’t missed a start since 2004. In that regard the Phillies might be better served with a voodoo doll.

More concisely, facing Santana a handful of times in 2008 will have a profound effect on the Phillies’ lineup. That’s especially the case when one notes that Ryan Howard, Chase Utley and Geoff Jenkins are all lefty swingers.

It is worth noting that switch-hitters Jimmy Rollins hit .321 against lefties in 2007 and Shane Victorino went at a .291 clip. But then again, Santana has been just as tough on righties (.220) as lefties (.223) during his career.

Here’s what else Santana-to-the-Mets means for the Phillies:

It means they should go out and make an offer to a pitcher like Kyle Lohse or Livan Hernandez and hope they sign on…

Before the Mets get both of them.

Bob Barker’s vegan enchilada bake

Posted in Bob Barker, recipes with tags on January 30, 2008 by jrfinger

This is Bob’s famous (and delicious) enchilada bake recipe that was printed in a 2007 edition of Esquire.

• 12 oz frozen vegan burger-style crumbles (Morningstar Farms’ work well)
• 1 packet taco seasoning
• 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
• 1/2 cup finely chopped scallions
• 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
• 1 cup low-sodium vegetable stock
• 2 cans black or pinto beans, rinsed
• 2 cans enchilada sauce
• 1 bag corn or flour tortillas
• 3 cups vegan cheddar cheese, shredded
• One 4-ounce can green chiles
• 1 small bag of Fritos, crushed

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees; spray a 9-by-13-inch baking pan with Pam.
2. In a bowl, coat crumbles with seasoning.
3. Heat oil in a skillet over medium heat; add scallions; cook 3 minutes. Stir in flour; cook 1 minute.
4. Add stock; stir 1 minute.
5. Stir in beans; set aside.
6. Cover bottom of pan with enchilada sauce.
7. Place one tortilla layer over sauce; pour bean mixture on top.
8. Follow with a third of the cheese and half the chiles.
9. Add more enchilada sauce and another tortilla layer.
10. Add burger crumbles, more cheese, the remaining chiles, and enchilada sauce.
11. End with the remaining tortillas, enchilada sauce, and cheese.
12. Cover with foil; bake 30 minutes.
13. Remove foil; sprinkle Fritos on top.
14. Pop back in the oven for 15 minutes.

My favorite story ever…

Posted in Tony Gonzalez, vegans with tags , on January 30, 2008 by jrfinger

Tony GonzalezAccording to The Wall Street Journal, Kansas City Chiefs tight end Tony Gonzalez is vegan.

Here’s the funniest excerpt from the story:

Living solely on plant food, a combination of nuts, fruits, vegetables, grains and the like, has long been the fringe diet of young rebels and aging nonconformists. Even the government recommends regular helpings of meat, fish and dairy. Vegans of late have gotten more hip with such best sellers as the brash “Skinny Bitch,” and its more scholarly cousin, “The China Study.” Both books argue vegans can live longer.

Yes, because the government knows exactly what people should eat… good one!

But aging nonconformists? That’s not fair… conform to what? Stupidity?

Anyway, The New York Times got in on the investigation that eating meat might be… well, problematic. For even more fun, read Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser.

Swing batter

Posted in Pedro Feliz, third base with tags , , , , on January 29, 2008 by jrfinger

Pedro FelizAgain with the misdirection? First the Phillies say they need/want to add a third baseman and a pitcher only to admit that they will likely head into Spring Training with the team as constructed. That means Wes Helms and Greg Dobbs holding down the hot corner and staff that most folks agree needs one more arm.

Nothing is ever good enough, is it?

Anyway, the Phillies signed third baseman Pedro Feliz yesterday to a two-year deal worth $8.5 million with an option for a third year. Most observers and fans like the addition of Feliz for a handful of reasons. One is that Feliz is an excellent fielder. He’s so good that shortstop Jimmy Rollins said, “There won’t be too many balls getting through on the left side,” with the addition of Feliz. Not exactly a bit of humility from Rollins, but give the guy a break, he won the MVP and the Gold Glove.

If you think Rollins Cadillac-ed plays in the past, wait until 2008.

Regardless, Feliz is a good fielder and for a pitching staff that sometimes will need divine intervention playing in the bandbox in South Philly they’re going to need a whole team of guys like Feliz and Rollins catching as many balls as possible.

Feliz can also hit a few homers. Playing in the pitching-friendly INSERTCORPORATENAMEHERE Park, Feliz hit 100 homers in the last five seasons and nearly had 100 RBIs (he had 9 8) in 2006. Substitute Citizens Bank Park for the ballpark in San Francisco for 81 games and Feliz suddenly is a 30-homer threat.

“We got better,” manager Charlie Manuel told reporters yesterday. “He’s a good defensive player. He’s got power. He’ll hit probably sixth, seventh, somewhere in there. I think putting him down in our lineup will help him. He was called on to hit in the middle of the lineup in San Francisco. A couple years ago, he might’ve been pressing to do too much because they had Barry Bonds there.”

But most importantly, Feliz is not Wes Helms. Actually, Feliz’s arrival could lead to Helms’s departure if the Phillies can find a team willing to take his contract off their hands.

So there are the good parts, not to mention that Feliz will probably benefit from getting out of San Francisco. But Feliz is hardly the second coming of Brooks Robinson. Instead, he might be a more powerful version of the last third baseman the Phillies got from the Giants. Yep, remember David Bell? Statistically, Feliz seems to have the edge on Bell in the field and is a better slugger, but he makes a ton of outs and swings at everything. That’s no exaggeration either - Feliz has a ridiculously low on-base percentage of .288 and averages 28 walks per 162 games.

But for as much as Feliz swings at nearly every pitch, he really doesn’t strikeout too much. That’s relative, of course, but last season Feliz hit 461 fair balls. That amounted to 3.073 per game and a .306 batting average on all balls put into play.

In other words, don’t blink when Feliz comes to the plate because he’s going to swing.

Back to the Bell comparison for a second: Feliz and Bell battled it out for the most grounded into double plays during 2005 and 2006 with Bell holding a 42-38 edge. However, by hitting all of those fair balls Feliz has been in the top 10 in making outs over the past two years. The leader in making the most outs? Jimmy Rollins.

It’s that left side of the infield… gripping and ripping.

Never mind…

Posted in training with tags , on January 29, 2008 by jrfinger

On second thought, I’m moving the running/training stuff back to the original site. It seems as if it works there better than here. Plus, now that I’m nearly waist-deep in all-out training mode, I have more excuses to update it more frequently.

Anyway, for the running stuff, go to the other site. For rambling non-sense, stay put.

Good guy calls it a good career

Posted in Mike Lieberthal with tags , on January 28, 2008 by jrfinger

LiebyFor guys like me who are more interested in the entire person behind the baseball player, than simply the dude who plays ball, the news that Mike Lieberthal decided to retire after 14 seasons in the Majors - 13 with the Phillies - is newsworthy. Though most folks who watch the Phillies closely won’t understand, Lieberthal probably personified the team from 1998 to the beginning of the Charlie Manuel regime. Trust me here - that’s not all bad.

First of all, Lieberthal was the Phillies’ All-Star on a team that had no one. Sure, Scott Rolen won the Rookie of the Year Award in 1997, but he was hurt for much of 1999 and 2000, and was gone midway through 2002. Bobby Abreu still hadn’t emerged into a perennial All-Star and Rico Brogna was an above-average player for a handful of seasons. That left Doug Glanville and guys like Mark Lewis, Desi Relaford, Marlon Anderson and Ron Gant to fill out the roster.

Pitching? Let’s not go there.

The fact is that when Lieberthal was healthy he was a legit .275 hitter and 20-homers a season threat. For a catcher that’s nothing to sneeze at… hell, Carlos Ruiz, Chris Coste and Rod Barajas combined to hit just 15 homers and bat .258 in 2007.

Perhaps most important in a team sport like baseball where the players sit together in a confined space as if in an overcrowded prison, Lieberthal was a guy the others followed. Again, this isn’t bad. Even when Jim Thome arrived on the scene in 2003, Lieberthal was the guy veterans and up-and-coming players went to for advice and guidance. Sometimes a few players would just do whatever it was Lieberthal did figuring that it was the right thing to do. I remember one player telling me that he took up yoga during the off-season simply because it was something Lieberthal did.

“I figured if he was doing it, I should too,” the player said. “After all, he is the catcher.”

Lieberthal caught more games than any other player in Phillies’ history - more than Bob Boone, Darren Daulton, Andy Seminick and Red Dooin. He also was plunked by more pitches than any other player in team history, too, though it shouldn’t long until his good friend Chase Utley catches up.

Nevertheless, there were always those stories out there that Lieberthal didn’t call a good game. You know, because the common sportswriter and fan really understands the intricacies of signaling for pitches and what needs to be called in every situation by taking into consideration the count, the hitter and the state of the pitchers’ arm. It always seemed to me that the notion that Lieberthal could not call a good game was something planted by ex-manager Larry Bowa and ex-pitching coach Joe Kerrigan. That always made me curious because it seemed to me that Lieberthal nearly always looked over to the bench for the signal from Bowa or Kerrigan before flashing it to the pitcher.

Besides, when asked several pitchers tamped down the idea that Lieberthal couldn’t signal a good game. Actually, I recall instances where three pitchers offered up the idea that Lieberthal called a good game without ever being asked. They just volunteered the information apropos to anything. Sure, a pitcher or two preferred throwing to Todd Pratt or Chris Coste or whomever, but why would anyone complain about Lieberthal?

Is there any better tribute to a player than to have others copying off of him? When it’s so easy to write-off people as selfish or self-absorbed, the fact that Lieberthal was emulated and sought out as a mentor is a far better legacy than anything that trite and meaningless statistics can offer. That’s especially true these days when baseball statistics have become more and more important to a certain segment of the fandom, yet are more trivial than ever before. Baseball was and always will be about stories and community - that’s the best part about it. And that’s why we keep coming back.

Stories in which Lieberthal plays a role are always good ones. Like the time when he was in the cage taking batting practice, rocketed a foul ball back through the netting and was oblivious to the fact that it caught Manuel flush in the groin[i].

My favorite Lieberthal moment - aside from listening to him deconstruct games in the clubhouse afterwards when he would recall pitch sequences in fine detail - was the time the poll of current ballplayers appeared in Sports Illustrated in which Bowa was named “Most hated manager” or something along those lines. It was one of those quiet days before a game where there wasn’t much going on so in lieu of anything substantial, Bowa was asked about the results of the poll. Clearly bothered, Bowa went on and on about how it didn’t bother him. Then he started in (without prodding, of course) on why players wouldn’t like him. He was a winner, he said. He held players accountable, he pointed out. He wasn’t all nicey nice like Joe Torre or Dusty Baker, he claimed. It went on and on until it actually became a story - Bowa was bothered by the poll even though he says he wasn’t.

It was kind of like a person going around and volunteering information without being asked. For instance, if I were to walk up to a complete stranger on the street and say, “I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I’m not insane. I’ll even wager that I’m the sanest person you have ever met. Good day, sir,” the only rational assumption for the stranger to make is that I am, indeed, insane.

Who goes around claiming sanity? An insane person, that’s who.

Anyway, out in the clubhouse a handful of players were asked about the results of the poll and the league-wide perception of their manager by the growing number of media-types and all that was offered were the politically correct answers. There were enough baseball clichés to go around to choke a Shetland pony. That was until Lieberthal wondered onto the scene. Unlike most athletes, Lieberthal wasn’t very good at the cliché-riddled jock speak. Better yet, he had the uncanny ability to actually say something when asked a question from media folks - the inability to lie is a very rare trait, indeed, and even when he was attempting some verbal misdirection, the truth was always there near the surface.

So when asked about Bowa and the poll naming him the “most hated manager” or whatever it was, Lieberthal thought for half a second and said: “Well, if I were on another team I’d probably hate him, too.” Then he went on to describe how players on other teams must have viewed the manager’s dugout histrionics and bench jockeying.

Yeah, you had to be there.

Regardless, good luck to Lieberthal and his pregnant wife in life as a retired baseball player. Undoubtedly, those years will be filled with good cheer and fun times.


[i] Why is the shot to the groin always so funny? Even mentioning the idea of hitting someone in the crotch is funny. For instance, last night I went to see the movie Juno and there was a line by the always solid J.K. Simmons where he states to his wife that the next time he sees the kid who impregnated his daughter he was going to, “punch him in the wiener.” Hey, it made me laugh out loud.

Lists, part 1

Posted in lists with tags on January 25, 2008 by jrfinger

The PoguesIt’s Friday, people are tired and there really isn’t anything going on aside from the types of things that require too much energy and lots of righteous indignation. So instead of focusing on the bluster, and because there is some market research out there that indicates that people like to read lists, here is a list of things that were viewed, used and consumed in the past 24 hours that we really, really like.

Ready?

Funny how?

Posted in Dana Jacobson, Rick Majerus, Rickles with tags , , , , on January 25, 2008 by jrfinger

RicklesFrom the everyone needs to take a step back and chill out file we urge folks to avoid roasts and rallies… or not.

Let’s get this straight: a woman, apparently one who appears on television regularly, makes “off-color” remarks at a roast for some colleagues and she gets suspended? Really? Mind you, it was a roast where points are given for the most outlandish and most rude comments one can make. Rickles used to kill at those old Dean Martin roasts back in the ‘70s and Bea Arthur turns up at the Friars Club just to get torn up.

Apparently, ESPN decided to suspend Dana Jacobson (the TV broadcaster that no one ever heard of until now) for going so far over the top at a roast that she probably could have held her own with the Friars. This is just plain silly - why is it her fault she was with a bunch of amateurs? No, I’ve never been to a roast. But trust me, I’ve been practicing. If I ever get the chance I’m going to make the paint bubble off the walls. I’m going to make Redd Foxx look like Bill Cosby.

If the folks that Jacobson dropped her pearls on wanted someone equally as un-funny, they could have booked Dane Cook.

Truth be told, being on the dais at a roast is the dream - that and delivering the mail. Think about how much fun it must be to walk around all day outside dropping off a bunch of stuff folks are pretty ambivalent about. Is there anything more fun than being outdoors just walking around and looking at stuff?

No, there is not.

Well, having fun is fun, too. However, the folks that invited Ms. Jacobson over to make fun of a couple of colleagues don’t really understand the concept of the roast. Or of fun. Or both.

Mother Nature 1, Everyone else 0

Posted in Brett Favre, cold, weather with tags , , , , , on January 23, 2008 by jrfinger

Brett FavreThe weather has a tendency to get a little chilly in the month of January as folks may have noticed from walking outdoors, watching football on television or from watching the little soft-shoe routine those suspenders-and-sports coat frocked slicksters pull off every night on the evening news. The weather is big business on local TV news. In fact, it is such big business that there are song lyrics that go:

“Murder and weather is our only news…”

If those lyrics don’t exist, they should.

Anyway, the middle part - the part about football, the outdoors and that nip, nip, nip at your nose - is the intriguing part. The truth is I tuned in to last Sunday’s Giants-Packers just to see how cold it was. Oh sure, I had a sneaking suspicion that Packers’ quarterback Brett Favre just might do something crazy enough to sabotage the game for his team, and in that regard I suppose no one was disappointed. But really, the outcome of the game was pretty meaningless. All I wanted to see what Favre’s breath turn from a plume of carbon dioxide and crystallize into a free-floating diamond-shaped ball of ice.

My guess is that it was something that other folks wanted to see, too. Actually, it appeared as if the only story of the game wasn’t Favre trying to get back to the Super Bowl one last time or Eli Manning attempting to copy his big brother and make it to the big game, but instead it was the coffee-sicle that formed in Terry Bradshaw’s mug during the pre-game show. Because, as it is, if it’s negative-three degrees without the wind chill in Green Bay, Wisconsin, the smart thing to do is hold the pre-game show out of doors. That way the frostbite that forms on Howie Long’s exposed extremities can be used as a tax write-off because technically it was a live experiment kind of like the stuff they do on Nova.

What, do you really think people cared if Howie broke down the Cover-2? Hell, the viewers at home wanted permanent scarring. It makes the frozen coffee go down smoother.

Now I don’t know where the idea that meteorology is a pseudo-science came from. It didn’t come from me, I can tell you that much. But what they don’t tell you during football games and TV weather reports is that cold weather hurts. It actually causes pain to a person more than a muggy scorcher in August ever could. No, cold temperatures don’t make one wake up screaming in the middle of the night and running off to find a doorway with your sleeping cap slouched to the side. That’s the move for an earthquake. But cold weather can freeze pipes and cause them to burst making floods or fires or both. Certainly that’s no picnic.

Interestingly though, the pain of cold temperatures in this part of the world only lasts a little while. At least that’s the way it worked out for me on Sunday and Monday when I decided to go out for a run. Hey, if they’re playing football all the way out there in Wisconsin, which is close to Canada and very near outer space where it gets as nippy as your Aunt Tilly’s gazpacho, I figured I ought to get out there and get my work in.

So out I went during the coldest part of the day, which, according to the Accuweather web site, was a raw negative-1 degree on the ol’ real feel index. Apparently such numbers are deduced when one accounts for the temperature, wind speed and direction, the time of day and on-base percentage. In other words it’s the Moneyball of weather. But the thing I learned about running around in ultra-cold weather was that it’s all about the wind. When the wind blows at one’s face it’s bad. When it blows at your back, it ain’t all that.

But you get used to it. At least that’s the way it went down on Sunday thanks to some effort and creative rambling. During a 60-minute effort the first few moments are the key. That’s when one decides whether to keep at it, thus proving oneself as an evolved life being that continuously takes strides at improvement. Or, it’s when one says out loud to no one, “This is stupid. I’m going back home so I can strip down, flop on the couch, order up a mushroom ‘boli and watch Rachel Ray… or whatever.”

beerClearly I’m evolved, but during the first couple of minutes as I negotiated through the neighborhood, I thought, “Wow! It’s cold! It’s really, really cold! Oh well, I guess it will be OK when I warm up.”

The notion of personal evolvement disappeared approximately five minutes into the run when I passed by a friend’s house, turned to look to spy someone moving around inside and realized that I couldn’t feel my face. Oh, I could touch it, but I couldn’t feel it.

“Is this dangerous?” I thought. “This feels like it could be dangerous. This isn’t dangerous is it?”

I realized I made a mistake when I put a gloved hand to my face and it felt like a bee sting. That sensation soon went away when my toes felt as though I had just dropped a canned ham on them. But oddly enough - after just 15 minutes of running - everything was back to normal. The wind had shifted, the swarm of bees that peppered my face had rubbed it with aloe and everything was back in order. The strut around the ‘hood was no longer dangerous. Instead, it was fun… as long as the wind remained where it was.

It looked as if the football players were out there having fun in Green Bay, too. Better yet, it didn’t look as if the cold temperatures changed much about the performances at all. Plaxico Burress made Al Harris look like his personal hand puppet, Tom Coughlin was typical full bore jackassery, and Brett Favre caught a late case of the crazies when his passes suddenly began to behave as if they were punts.

More than the Giants, the Super Bowl, or the Fox network, the weather was the winner last weekend. It showed that it will always be the topic of discussion in ways beyond the banality of, “Some weather we’re having, huh?” Yep, it got cold and none of that silliness about “Global Warming” reared its un-ironic head as the great misnomer of the past decade.

You know, global warming… kind of like jumbo shrimp.

Who doesn’t love those hacky ‘Where are they now’ pieces?

Posted in Doug Glanville, Floyd Landis, Lance Armstrong, Randy Wolf, Scott Rolen, Slash with tags , , , , , , on January 19, 2008 by jrfinger

Ed. note: I forgot to add on the Lance Armstrong part on Friday night… it was added Saturday morning at 9:30 a.m.

SlashWith the news that ex-Phillie Jon Lieber signed a one-year deal to pitch for the Cubs in 2008, it seemed like it would be a fun exercise to see what a few other former Phillies were up to these days.

But in the way of saying adios, muchacho to big Jon, it might be fair to add that his monster truck will probably go over just as well in Chicago as it did in Philadelphia. It should also be mentioned that when Lieber ruptured a tendon in his ankle while jogging off the mound that day in Cleveland last season, gravy poured out and soaked into his sock.

I’m not saying anything, I’m just sayin’.

Nevertheless, all-time favorite Doug Glanville took a break from his real-estate development business near Chicago to write an op-ed piece for The New York Times about why some ballplayers decide to use performance-enhancing drugs. Glanville, obviously, was not a PED user so he can only guess as to why players do what they do. But as an involved member of the players’ union, Glanville didn’t offer much in the way for solutions to the problem. That’s not to say it wasn’t a thoughtful story by Glanville, it’s just that I think we’re way past wondering why players decide to cheat. Perhaps it’s time to accept the fact that with some guys if they are given an inch, they’ll take a yard.

Still, it’s a shame Doug isn’t around anymore. I figured him for a front-office type, but maybe he’s on to bigger work.

***
Elsewhere, Scott Rolen made his introductions to the Toronto baseball writers this week and from all the reports it sounded like it went over as well a Slappy White show - maybe even better than that.

According to reports Rolen joked, joshed and cajoled. Basically, he was the way he always was without the misunderstandings from certain media elements. Oh yeah, neither Larry Bowa nor Tony La Russa showed up, either. That means everyone was in a good mood.

“Hmmn, I didn’t think it was going to come up. That’s surprising,” Rolen answered when asked about his old manager.

Better yet, when given more openings to get in his digs at La Russa, who gave a rambling and bizarre soliloquy on the affair during the Winter Meetings in Nashville last month, Rolen again took the high road.

“I’m not sure if that’s healthy,” he said. “I want to go back to playing baseball, I want to focus all my attention and my competition on the field. Too many times the last year, year and a half, I think that some of the competition, some of the focus was off the field, not on the field where it should stay.”

Buzz & WoodyAside from that, Rolen explained how his three-year old daughter selected his uniform No. 33 for him. It’s kind of a cute story… on another note, my three-year old son has chosen a new name for me — from now on I’m Buzz Daddy Lightyear Finger. I’m going to the courthouse to have it changed next week.

***
How about this for the best story involving a former Phillie… Newly signed San Diego Padre Randy Wolf bought Slash’s house in the Los Angeles’ Hollywood Hills.

Yeah, that Slash.

From what I know about both guys, Randy’s parties might be a little wildier. During my days on the road with Slash all we ever did was visit the local libraries and modern museums of art — If you’ve seen on impressionist, you’ve seen them all.

Again, I’m not sayin’ anything, I’m just sayin’.

Anyway, apparently the joint cost just under $6 million and is approximately 5,500-square feet. There is a pool, a gym, a chef’s kitchen and if I’m not mistaken by looking at the photos, there is a lot wood… Me? I’m an oak man myself.

***
Finally, speaking of guys who know how to party, Lancasterian turned San Diego suburbanite, Floyd Landis, has a full season of racing lined up regardless of the outcome of his appeal to the CAS. According to a published report, Landis will race in the eight-race National Ultra-Endurance Series. Locally, a race is scheduled for July in State College, Pa. in a series that is described as, “old-school mountain biking.”

Yeah.

Meanwhile, Floyd gave a rather revealing interview to the Velo News on Friday where the proverbial gloves came off. Then again, what else is new?

***
Lance & Matt Speaking of cyclists and racing, Lance Armstrong is supposedly running the Boston Marathon in April. Lance qualified with a 2:59 and 2:46 in the past two New York City Marathons, which would likely put him in the starting corral as me — not that Lance is going to have to get up super early to board a bus at the Boston Common for the long ride out to Hopkinton just so he can sit on the cold, wet grass in the Athlete’s Village. Or, Lance can join the multitudes in a long wait in line for one of the port-a-potties that turn the otherwise bucolic setting into into a veritable sea of domed-lidded huts of human waste… complete with that fresh, urinal cake scent.

I wonder if Lance will take a wide-mouthed Gatorade bottle to the starting corral with him, too… you know, just in case.

Yep, that’s marathoning — there are no façades in our sport.

Anyway, it’s cool that Lance is headed to Boston. Perhaps I’ll re-evaluate my spring racing plans and show up, too, if I can find a place to stay… seems as if all the inns and motels are sold out that weekend.