Here comes the new look (same as the old look)

When you think about it, the current design of the uniforms the Phillies have been sporting since 1992 are getting a little old and stale. Actually, they are catching up in age to those hard maroon unis the team wore all through the 1970s that just seemed to scream, “DISCO!”

The shirts they wear now just whine, “We don’t have any other good ideas.”

Sometimes the best ideas are the ones that are already out there. Take for instance the one the Phillies came up with for their “new” alternate home uniform, which the team will wear for day games at the Bank. Yeah, well, it’s exactly like the shirts and pants the team wore in 1946 to 1949. Guess what? It works.

Really, they are blue and red (with a cream-colored base). How could that miss when blue and red go together like chocolate and peanut butter?

In fact, those uniforms look so good that perhaps the “alternate” uniforms should be the ones they have been wearing since 1992. Let’s not kid ourselves, the Phillies’ look is stale and needs to be freshened up a bit. Not only do they need a third baseman, a center fielder and a few pitchers, but a new wardrobe would surely get the local nine feeling a little better about themselves. Doesn’t a new snazzy shirt or a slick pair of pants make everyone feel better?

Pitcher turned runway model Cole Hamels told reporters that he liked the new/old look.

“It’s nice to have something different. All the teams have been coming up with new uniforms, and you want to be part of it,” he said. “I know it’s going to help out with the marketing campaign because it brings something new and fun to the stadium.”

Wait… this uniform thing is a marketing campaign? Would the Phillies do such a thing just to sell shirts at their team store for $189.99 and caps for (probably) $25? With a recession looming, ticket prices as high as they are and the Christmas season in full swing, wouldn’t the Phillies just want to give away that kind stuff to help drum up support for the hometown team? They didn’t unveil the new uniforms just 25 shopping days before Christmas on purpose did they?

***
Speaking of new looks for the Phillies, forget about a trade with the Orioles for Melvin Mora. According to general manager Pat Gillick, the Phillies believe Mora is a good player, but they are sure what the team would have to offer back to the O’s.

Speaking of the Orioles, I always liked that smiling bird cap they used to wear in the ‘70s and ‘80s. It made Eddie Murray and Earl Weaver look like a really friendly dudes, you know.

In the interest of full disclosure, I felt that my American Legion baseball team sponsored by the local Elks club should have had smiling elk caps as an homage to those juggernaut Orioles’ teams. I even tried to design one, but it came out like something Deitch suggested for a new uniform patch for the Phillies.

***
Von Hayes is still the manager of sandlot independent league Lancaster Barnstormers and I promise I will write something about it as soon as figure out a way to do it tactfully. In the interest of full disclosure, ol’ Von is a good hire for Lancaster and he beat out Gary Carter, Wally Backman and the team’s ex manager Tom Herr for the gig. But then again, people I talked to (yep, I talked to real live people about it) say anyone other than Herr would have been good. That guy, one person said, has the personality of a toilet seat…

Oh yeah, tact. I’ll work on it.

***
Rumors and crap
Just as quickly as rumors sprung up regarding a potential trade between the Orioles and the Phillies for third baseman Melvin Mora, they were squashed by general manager Pat Gillick. According to The Philadelphia Inquirer, the Phillies’ GM says the team is focused on acquiring pitching.
Nevertheless, Gillick indicated that the Phillies would have plenty of money to spend on the right player(s) though he noted that “This is not a good free-agent group.”

With center fielder Aaron Rowand expected to sign elsewhere for the 2008 season, the Phillies are rumored to be amongst the teams looking at Brewers’ slugger Geoff Jenkins as a player to bolster the outfield.

Good try, team!

Let’s get this straight: The Eagles lost to the Patriots on Sunday night and Philly fans are pleased? Really? Is this true? The Eagles lost and folks are genuinely pleased?

Hold on for a second while I drop to one knee to catch my breath…

Look, it was a wildly entertaining game. In fact, I even napped at halftime so I could make it the whole through the second half. For a detached “fan” like me who watches Eagles games (not the NFL… that’s too much effort) when it’s convenient, Sunday night’s game was perfectly compelling. And frankly, that’s the appeal of football - the casual fan doesn’t have to invest much to be entertained. One doesn’t have to get too deep into it like with baseball where the minutia of the game seems to be the appeal. Nevertheless, the game was fun to watch and just as riveting as the Eagles-Giants game from a year or two ago that went to overtime. Now that game was one to describe in your best Keith Jackson voice…

A real donnybrook!

Still, from what I can tell from some of the reaction around town, folks are happy that the Eagles gave the Patriots all they could handle… even though they still lost.

What, has Philadelphia become a town of happy losers? Are moral victories just as good as the real thing? Lovable losers in Philly - what is this, Chicago? Moral victories - are they turning into St. Louis fans?

Hey, I know how good everyone says the Patriots are and it seems likely that they will win every game this season. I also know that the betting line was 22 points some absurdity like that. But from what I could tell the Eagles lost a game they could or should have won. You know, kind of like those games they lost to the Packers, Redskins and Bears.

So there you have it - there’s my football analysis for the rest of the season. Makes you feel smarter, huh?

Speaking of feeling smarter (I couldn’t come up with a better transition), the free-agent/hot stove comings and goings for the Phillies are beginning to come a little clearer. Or so it seems…

***
Anyway, the Phillies appear to be interested in Orioles’ third baseman Melvin Mora, according to the Baltimore Sun. Mora has a no-trade clause and signed a three-year extension with the Orioles in 2006, but reports indicate he is unhappy with the direction the team is taking. As such, Mora is said to be willing to waive the clause to play for an east-coast team.

Meanwhile, there are reports that the Astros and former Phillies’ GM Ed Wade is in the race to ink ex-Phillies Randy Wolf and Jon Lieber. Wolf, as has been well documented, has been made an offer by the Phillies after the Dodgers declined to pick up his option for 2008.

Finally, cross the White Sox off Aaron Rowand’s list of potential suitors. According to a report in The Chicago Sun-Times, Rowand and his former club are way off in contract terms. The Dodgers, Rangers and Phillies are still interested in signing the free agent center fielder.

***
Lots of folks (OK, three) have asked me what I thought about Tom McCarthy re-joining the Phillies’ broadcast team. My initial reaction was, “Cool.” Wherever he is,Tom is often the friendliest guy at the ballpark so the more often we get to see him, the better. Then I thought, “Hey, it seems like the Phillies have a lot of broadcasters now… is someone leaving?”

According to folks smarter than me, Tom is likely being groomed as Harry Kalas’ successor. That’s cool, too, I guess though I agree with Dan McQuade’s idea that a good Harry Kalas impersonator could handle those duties for decades to come.

***
Hey, Billy Wagner is mouthing off about the Mets…

Also, the sun rises in the east and sets in the west.

Watchoo talkin’ ’bout, Willis?

So we finally got back to town last night after travelling around a bit over the weekend, and immediately my wife started in on this site. The kids had finally gone off to bed and some ridiculousness like “Dancing with the Stars” was on the TV as my old lady and I both sat in our chairs with our laptops. I guess it’s kind of a modern-day Archie and Edith, minus the laugh track.

Anyway, Marie Osmond was being tossed and launched all over the screen though the absurdness of this was completely lost on me. Perhaps if Gary Coleman was a contestant… Instead, I had my headphones plugged into my ears and I was busy trying to sync together the Johnny Cash biopic Walk the Line with Radiohead’s Kid A. As odd as that sounds, it kind of works - the record (and by record I mean recording) starts with “Everything in its Right Place,” which was offset against Leaf Phoenix and Reece Witherspoon singing Dylan’s “It Ain’t Me, Babe.” From there, the actors went up to Johnny Cash’s hotel room as the opening track slipped into, “Kid A.”

But just as the opening bass chords of the rather chaotic “The National Anthem,” struck like knives flying through the air, all hell broke loose for Johnny Cash. The Feds were waiting for him at the airport to peel apart his luggage for his stash, his wife was on the way out with the kids and life seemed to sound just like the wildness playing on my earphones.

Finally, when Cash was camped out with Waylon Jennings in some Tennessee motel, “How to Disappear Completely,” burst on and that’s when the experiment ended. My wife, as it often is, had another question.

“Hey, I noticed you haven’t updated your little site in a while.”

Everything is little to her. Like my little site, or my little job, or my little “hobbies.” It’s so condescending.

“Yeah, well, I haven’t been home lately. I was on vacation with my family. Should I have told you guys to go away so I could throw some more verbal crap against the wall?”

She already knows that I do my best not to be a sports fan at home and I suppose this is a site about sports. I’m kind of like a chef that cooks all day at his restaurant only to go home to eat Dinty Moore beef stew from a can.

So yeah, I told her. Besides, I didn’t know what to write that would be remotely interesting to anyone. Not that I know much about that to begin with, but at least I’m not going to pull that old Bukowski stunt and write about writers’ block. That’s really digging deep for nothing.

Anyway, I decided to wait for someone to post the Kid A/Walk the Line sync on YouTube or something. Then again, there is that theory out there that Kid A actually describes the events in Manhattan on Sept. 11, 2001 even though the album was released in October of 2000.Chuck Klosterman wrote about the theory extensively in his book Killing Yourself to Live. Check it out here.

I wonder if Thom Yorke and Johnny Cash ever met.

***
Check this out: I was selected to be a shoe tester for the shoe company, Brooks. Needless to say I’m pretty excited about it. What I do, I suppose, is wear the shoes I’m sent for my runs, write about it in a report and send the info along to the good folks at Brooks.

See, told you it sounded fun.

From what I have learned the shoe I’ll be testing is Brooks’ “Defyance,” which is slated to hit the U.S. market in April of 2008. It supposed to be a neutral trainer, which is perfect for me. I don’t like the featherweight racers or trainers, but the neutral and stripped down shoes for extremely efficient types with elegant biomechanics work best for me. Those clunky monsters that weigh more than 12 ounces are just way too much shoe for me.

Besides, my favorites are now long gone. The Nike Talaria, Nike Zoom LWP, Nike Air Mariah, Nike Zoom Air Hayward and the original Adidas Ozweego are about as perfect as running shoes can get, yet they are all very different. Oddly enough, I have been wearing some derivation of the Ozweego since July of 1996, though I’m down to my last pair and it looks as if it’s the end of the line for that one.

Truth be told, the Talaria was the most comfortable shoe ever. They were like slippers.

Anyway, I’m excited to try out the Brooks Defyance. The people at Brooks should know that I will absolutely beat the bleep out of their shoe as I work it into my rotation of a half-dozen trainers.

That’s how I roll.

I thought you said I was OK, Spider

When I was a kid I believed nearly everything adults told me. Well, I believed almost everything they told me until I was about 10. After then, I questioned everything because that’s about the time I learned about Richard Nixon. I figured if the President of the United States could be less than forthcoming, maybe other adults could, too.

That’s also about the same time I learned about Santa Claus, though truth be told the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy never made any sense. That’s especially the case with the Tooth Fairy because that just sounds a little too Uncle Eddie-ish to me. Really, what kind of a person or fairy wants little kids’ ripped out and bloodied teeth? Do they make necklaces out of them like those sharks’ tooth ones people wore in the ‘70s and stuff? Remember Turk Wendell, the Phillies’ former relief pitcher? Yeah, well he had a necklace made out of elk’s teeth and other wild animals he may or may not have shot. Actually, the necklace was kind of gaudy, but not in a P. Diddy kind of way.

Perhaps Turk Wendell was the tooth fairy for the Marlin Perkins set?

Anyway, the point is that I believed what adults told me, but then I stopped and then, for some reason, I believed them again. At least I believed what adult general managers of Major League Baseball teams told me. Seriously, why would they make up stuff? They weren’t after my teeth (as far as I knew) and they weren’t going to bring me or my family gifts every December under the cover of darkness. Better yet, I don’t think there is a single baseball GM who secretly bombed Cambodia or was less than forthcoming about the break-in at the Democratic National Committee headquarters back in ‘72. Based on that criterion, baseball GMs are a reasonably trustworthy lot.

That doesn’t mean they tell the truth all of the time. For instance, I recall a time when Ed Wade revealed that a slumping Marlon Byrd was the team’s centerfielder and leadoff hitter for the foreseeable future - who would have guessed that Byrd was living in the future and was to be optioned to Triple-A after a game in which he served as the centerfielder and leadoff hitter? Hey, I’m not saying Wade didn’t make the correct move, I’m just saying that if the end of the game was as far into the future as he could see, then he needs to re-do that Lasik surgery.

So what’s this have to do with anything? Well, it doesn’t. I just like writing about it. Plus, it’s a nice little segue way into the whole Mike Lowell thing, who, as most readers of this site and other like it (could there be others like this one?) will tell you, is the newly re-signed third baseman and MVP of the World Series for the Boston Red Sox. Lowell is a pretty darned good third baseman who played for the Marlins when they won the World Series in 2003 and I remember sitting at Citizens Bank Park the time he hit three home runs in one game for the Marlins. The last of the three came off Billy Wagner and it made me laugh out loud… not one of those obnoxious laughs like DeNiro chomping on a cigar in the movie theater like in Cape Fear, which by itself is a ridiculous scene. But it was a laugh that slips out at an inappropriate time, like say the time your friend was an altar boy at mass at Sacred Heart in 1984 or something and he knocked over a candle that he had just lit. You don’t want to laugh out loud, but you do for that briefest of seconds before anyone realizes that you are the one who a.) Has a bad sense of humor and b.) Can’t control himself in solemn places.

Not that any of that ever happened, of course.

Anyway, Nixon bombed Cambodia, Marlon Byrd was sent to Scranton and Pat Gillick told us not to believe everything we read on ESPN.com. Which one thinks about it, is a rather ambiguous statement. Just look at it:

“Don’t believe everything you read on ESPN.com.”

OK. I guess that’s good advice. But it’s kind of like, don’t dance with a circus bear wearing a Shriner’s hat after it just pedaled a tricycle 50 yards. Or don’t rub the belly of an alligator that was just fed ostrich burgers for a mid-afternoon snack. Does it really mean something or is it just a broad, sweeping statement that is common amongst politicians and large retailers to homogenize us?

Perhaps what Gillick meant to say was, “Don’t believe everything you read on ESPN.com about badminton. But the stuff about the Phillies attempting to sign Mike Lowell to play third base for the team in 2008… yeah, well that stuff is as solid as your Uncle Tim’s brass spittoon.”

So how about that? Despite all the reports that indicated that the Phillies had just a limited amount of cash to spend this winter, and GM Gillick’s contention that the team was focusing on acquiring pitching and that third base was not a “priority,” it comes out that the Phillies are like Diamond Jim picking up the tab for everyone in the saloon. They’re lighting big, fat cigars with $20 bills while trying to figure out how they can spend more money and make offers to guys like Mike Lowell.

Good for them.

But here’s the question: why the subterfuge? Why all the, “Mike Lowell? Who is Mike Lowell? We wouldn’t know Mike Lowell if he walked right up and spit into our mammy’s hand purse…” Doing stuff like that is going to give a guy a reputation. It’s going to make the honest, chaste and diligent folks in the local sporting press to believe the worst in a person. They’re going to think that when Pat Gillick says, “No, no, no,” he really means, “Yes, no, yes!”

I don’t know much about poker or the game’s colorful jargon, but I do bad bluffing when I hear it. Based on this, the Phillies should swoop in and steal away A-Rod from the Yankees at any minute.

***
If the Phillies can’t get A-Rod (or Scott Rolen), maybe they can get Randy Wolf? The former Phillie lefty has received an offer from the team about returning for 2008. The team has made a bunch of other offers to other players, too, including right-hander Hiroki Kuroda, who has pitched for the past decade in the Japan.

***
Most of my friends don’t follow sports too closely so they sometimes ask inane questions about how I must be a big fan of the Phillies. I don’t think they get it when I tell them that, “I root for the story.” You see, like the stereotypical, self-centered athlete, I just look out for myself.

Anyway, though I don’t really care one way or another which team wins or loses, I do find myself rooting for the success of certain people in the game. In that regard, a hearty congratulations goes out to Jimmy Rollins for being voted the National League’s MVP in 2007 by the dangerous (and fascist) secret society called the Baseball Writers Association of America. If there is one player who respects, understands and reveres the history of the game, it’s Rollins and I’m certain he will represent the award and the new fame that goes with such an honor well.

Kudos to Jimmy.

MVP!

The clown show will return

I’ve been traveling around and busy all day, but I will be back tomorrow with stuff on Mike Lowell, Pat Gillick, Von Hayes and, of course, Jimmy Rollins…

It fits!

Just one time I’d like to see a player try on a jersey that doesn’t fit during those ceremonial press conferences for newly signed players. Like say for instance the Phillies signed Barry Bonds and trotted him out with the whole jersey thing, but when he tries to slip his arms in it goes nowhere because it’s one of Jimmy Rollins’ shirts.

That would be funny to me.

The Phillies did their little dog-and-pony show with Brad Lidge yesterday where they made him fly to Philadelphia to answer a few questions and try on a shirt. Then maybe he had dinner, watched a little TV in the hotel before flying back home. Apparently everything fit and checked out fine for Lidge and the Phillies. The shirt looked good.

While all of that was going on in Philadelphia, the Yankees and Alex Rodriguez (sans agent Scott Boras) were working on a new deal that would give him a small percentage of a raise and bonuses for breaking records (more on that in a moment). Apparently, A-Rod and the Yanks are just crossing the Is and dotting the Ts on a 10-year contract. Rodriguez, of course, is the player that opted out the last three years of his current deal that was paying him more than $25 million for a shade more than 162 games. It’s just a shade more than 162 games because unlike ex-Yankee third basemen like Charlie Hayes, Scott Brosius or Graig Nettles, A-Rod has never made it to the World Series.

Better yet, any person who willingly opts out of a contract in excess of $25 million for 180 days of work is an [bleep]hole. I wish I could be a little more graceful, but I can’t. Seriously. Worse, there will be people going on and on about how A-Rod did the right thing because he got more money and more years by opting out… yeah, well, so. Does that much money matter anymore or is just about his ego? It’s kind of like the time we were all together talking about the shoddy work of a well-paid media type when someone butted in with a, “Yeah, but he’s making six-figures…” You know, as if that were impressive enough to change opinion. After a second or so, someone countered with, “Yeah, he might make six-figures but he’s still a bleeping hack.”

In other words, A-Rod might make all the money in the world but he still hasn’t played an inning of a World Series game.

But one of the more interesting elements of A-Rod’s new contract is that he will get a hefty bonus if he breaks the all-time home run record. Actually, according to Big Stein’s son, Li’l Hanky Steinbrenner, the Yankees are working on a “marketing plan” for A-Rod’s climb up the all-time charts.

“These are not incentive bonuses,” Steinbrenner said. “For lack of a better term, they really are historic-achievement bonuses. It’s a horse of a different color.”

But the color is still green. And here’s the thing - whose home run record does A-Rod have to break to get his horse? Will Major League Baseball still consider Barry Bonds the Sultan of Shots or will he get the big historical asterisk next to his name after yesterday’s indictment came down at around the time Lidge was trying on a shirt?

And we all know the Feds never get indictments for cases they could lose. They like to make it look like the Harlem Globetrotters vs. the Washington Generals…

Perhaps more interestingly, Bonds’ federal indictment for lying to a grand jury comes after commissioner Bud Selig announced that MLB’s revenues crossed over $6 billion. And, a day after The Washington Post offered readers a front-page story in which leaders in the anti-doping movement are convinced that getting indictments and launching investigations is a better tact than spending money to develop full-proof drug tests.

It looks like they got a really big fish.

More: The Bonds indictment (pdf)

Paying attention is hard - Part III

Interestingly, third basemen Mike Lowell and Scott Rolen have the same agent. Even more interesting, the Phillies have not inquired about making a deal for either player. But then again, the team says all they are interested in is adding pitching.

Yeah, we’ve been all over this before.

But it’s free agency period and everyone is into the Hot Stove stuff which means memories are short or ears are clogged or both. People will pay attention to what they want and they will only hear enough to keep the rumor-mongers in business. That’s what it is now - rumors and innuendo. Forget about facts and news. That’s boring.

It’s boring like the news from the St. Louis papers regarding Rolen, who reportedly is seeking a trade away from the Cardinals because of a damaged relationship with manager Tony La Russa. This is old news. In fact, it was well known last summer that Rolen did not want to return to the Cardinals in 2008 if La Russa was going to remain the team’s manager. But with La Russa signed on for a couple more years, it has come to light that Rolen is seeking a trade.

Again, no surprise there.

Here’s the thing though - because Rolen apparently wants to be traded away from the Cardinals and because it’s assumed the Phillies are after a third baseman because it’s also assumed that they need one (even though the Phillies say obtaining a third baseman is “not a priority”), immediately the Rolen-to-Phillies stories creep up.

What are we missing here?

Oh yeah, how about the facts. Like the fact that Rolen has a no-trade clause with an unwritten line that states, “I’ll waive it for anywhere but Baghdad or Philadelphia.” Or the fact that Rolen still has three years remaining on his contract and is owed $36 million coupled with the report that the Cards will not help pay the freight. What about the fact that Rolen missed most of 2005 and 2007 seasons because of injuries that may or may not have taken away some of his offensive punch.

Do the facts matter or do they just get in the way of a good story?

Answers: No and yes.

Either way, let us reinterate the main point again - Rolen has a no-trade clause. It means he can’t be traded anywhere unless he waives it and this is often done for a hefty fee. Knowing what we know about Rolen’s first 6½ seasons in Philadelphia and the way he was received in all of his visits since 2002, what sane person would think he’d want to return to play for the Phillies, let alone fly over the city in the Enola Gay?

And don’t give me a silly answer like, “money” because Rolen already accepted a smaller paycheck to play for St. Louis.

Look, certainly Rolen is not the first player Tony La Russa rubbed the wrong way. Needless to say, La Russa isn’t the first manager Rolen has had trouble with. Actually, it seems as if the only manager Rolen did well with was Terry Francona. Let’s be hypocrites and play the rumor game, only we’ll be a little more original and make up one of our own…

Ready?

OK, Lowell signs with the Cardinals and Rolen gets traded to the Red Sox… how does that work?

Hey, it’s the best I could come up with on short notice.

But, you know, paying attention is hard. That’s especially true when the real story gets in the way of the more entertaining story.

Speaking of which, Mike Lowell ain’t coming to Philadelphia either… then again, what does his agent or Phils’ GM Pat Gillick know?

So long, sailor…
It’s worth noting that Dennis Deitch of the Delaware County Daily Times finally found a seat with a desk. That means regular hours, holidays off and no more travelling around following a baseball team all summer long. That frees him up to do… well, whatever it is he does. Dungeons & Dragons, I guess. Perhaps some Everquest with Curt Schilling, poker at the Borgata and more time spent honing his act as the new crocodile hunter.

To that end we wish Dennis well, note our envy and hope he learns how to duck and move a little more quickly. For us that remain the departure means no more ridiculously riotous comments made with pitch-perfect timing[1]. For us, that sucks.

But kudos, Dennis. Kudos.

If you’re scoring at home, the scribes now have subtracted Marcus Hayes and Deitch from the ranks… I say the beat guys get to vote the next guy off the island. Does it work that way?

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[1] Timing, of course, is relative. Perhaps Dennis’ timing is perfect because it’s so inappropriate? That’s probably the case.

Jumping off the deep end

So the free agent period is officially on. In fact, it’s “on” on. Yesterday was the first day and it seemed as if everyone was freaking out trying to learn new information about who was talking to whom and where everyone was going the next couple of days. Everyone was in everyone else’s business and had each other’s names in each other’s mouths.

Between hoping I could carve out my insides with a pie cutter and waiting for my head to explode with this damn sinus/migraine thing I got going on over here, I fielded an IM or two about all this free agent hubbub from guys closer to the situation (and more seasoned) than me.

Pure insanity.

They all wanted to know if the other shoe had dropped. Did I know anything? Had I heard anything? TELL US! TELL US NOW!

AAARRRGGGHHH!

But just like… well… me on payday, I got nuthin’. Nada. But then again, I’m not one of those guys who goes running all willy-nilly for no reason. I don’t go shopping the day after Thanksgiving (unless it’s online) and I don’t go doing a cannonball into the deep end without dipping my big, battered toe [1]in first. Folks, you have to settle in and build a nice rhythm if you expect to go the distance.

In other words: simmer down. Now. Who goes out on payday and breaks the bank seconds after walking out of the check-cashing place? Not anyone sane or sober and certainly not the Phillies.

But then again, perhaps the shooting-from-the-holster approach isn’t a bad one. Maybe if the Phillies jumped into the deep end they can get all of their wintertime shopping done before the crowds rush in. After all, trading for Brad Lidge kind of pushed the team onto a certain direction in completing the puzzle, which, truth be told, wasn’t too difficult to decipher to begin with. Apparently, the Phillies believe they score enough runs as it is and can go with Shane Victorino in centerfield, Jayson Werth in right and Wes Helms/Greg Dobbs at third. How many runs does a team need?

I guess that has to do with the pitching, which is what the team (and every other team, too) will be looking for. It’s also the reason why Kyle Lohse will likely sign a multi-year contract filthy with a bunch of numbers. Will it be $40 million? How about $50 million?

And yes, we’re talking about Kyle Lohse. And Carlos Silva. Write the big check for Livan Hernandez.

According to some reportage and sleuthing by the local beat scribes, it appears as if the Phillies will not have the cash to break the bank this winter, which seems odd. It seems odd because the Phillies had the best attendance in the history of the taxpayer subsidized Citizens Bank Park in 2007. What’s more, they made the playoffs for the first time in 14 years, too. That means more exposure, more games and (probably) more cash coming in. Plus, chances are they will raise ticket prices for 2008, too. Yeah, why not… if the fish is going to jump into the boat, all they have to do is beat it over the head with an oar.

Still, it seems likely that there won’t be enough petty cash stuck under the cushions of the couch to make a “competitive” offer to Aaron Rowand, the Gold Glove Award-winning centerfielder, who just so happens to be coming off a career year with the bat. It also appears that Messr. Rowand is heading for one of those contract deals that looks like science fiction, which is crazy. Could a team really be ready to offer Aaron Rowand $15 million per season?

Really? That’s Kyle Lohse money.

It also reminds me why running, cycling, golf and tennis are superior to the so-called “mainstream” sports in the U.S. Why? Because you have to win to get paid.  

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[1] I reckon I have run more than I walk during the past two decades. Therefore, my toes are all beaten up as if they were about to go into a mince meat pie. I have no idea what mince meat pie looks like (or even what it is), but I bet it’s nasty… like my bludgeoned-by-running toes.

Breaking it down

The Philadelphia Marathon is set for this Sunday, which means there are a few folks around these parts conserving energy, bouncing off the walls and trying as hard as they can to relax.

That’s the hard part, of course. Relaxing is always one of those things that is easier said than done in almost every situation. It’s almost like telling someone to “just say ‘no.’” Yeah, well if I could say no or relax we wouldn’t be in this situation. Who can relax after months of training and the idea of self-flagellation and masochism looming? Better yet, people actually pay money to run marathons. Good money, too. I’m told the Philadelphia Marathon costs more than $100 to enter, which, frankly, is a crime.

The folks charging good-natured runners that much cash should be forced to get out there and run the marathon, too. Get moving John Street…

Anyway, it’s taper time for some folks making the jaunt through the city this Sunday and that’s always a tricky time. Most people taper for two weeks, which, truth be told, is too long in my book. But, because most people aren’t exactly Bill Rodgers (who used to taper for three days… maybe) and get their training plans off the Internet from some silliness presented by Jeff Galloway or Oprah or whoever else is telling people they can hurl themselves 26.2 miles by running less, then by all means, do your two weeks.

Want to know what I do? Well, it’s my site and I’m going to tell you anyway.

Here it is:

Thirteen days before the race I do my last long run, which is anywhere between 22 to 24 miles. I continue to train normally the next two days, and then I start to bring it down a little bit. For instance, since I usually take it to 105-110 miles per week when getting ready for a marathon, I’ll just go 20 miles on the Thursday and Friday. I just go 20 miles in those two days because I’m going to do a race (either a 5k or 10k) eight days before the marathon as a gauge of my fitness.

After that fitness-gauging race I get into a taper which goes like this:

* 10-13 easy
* 10 easy
* 7 miles at race pace
* 1 miles warm-up/cool down + 5 miles faster than race pace (if I can do it in 27, I’m ready)
* 4-5 miles easy
* 3 miles easy
* 4 miles easy
* Go run a marathon

This was discovered through trial and error, though, I’ve done a few two-day tapers where I ran 16 miles a day until two days out before cutting back to 5 and then 5k. Interestingly, “The People’s Champ,” Brian Sell, does something a little similar.

At least that’s according to Sell’s log on the Athleticore.com site where the Hanson’s dudes post their workouts. In the week before the Olympic Trials where Sell finished third in 2:11:40, he did a 10-miler in 66 two days out and a 10-miler in 52 the day before.

That comes after doing 46 miles in four sessions the three previous days to the pair of 10s.

You’re darn right that’s pretty impressive. Then again, after piling on routine 150-mile weeks, a 10-miler at 5:12 pace is probably a day off.

Here’s something else people won’t tell you about running marathons… when you’re out there, put some time in the bank. That’s right bank it because you’re going to slow down late in the race no matter what.

Week of November 5-11
(22 weeks to the National Marathon – March 29, 200

Monday
15 miles in 1:39:08

Felt pretty strong the entire time and easily could have gone another 20 minutes without batting an eye. My form was good and all of that, however, I noticed that the pace dipped a bit on uphills. The effort didn’t change, but the pace was bad. On flat ground I’m really decent.

Tuesday
15 miles in 1:41:53

I did the same exact run as yesterday, though it was much slower. I felt strong, though, and a little better on the hills. But I definitely was tired during most of the run. The good part is that it was a strength run and I felt strong.

Wednesday
10 miles in 65:04

I ran steady 6:30 pace and it felt easy. Actually, I was a little bummed I had to stop. I felt pretty good. Still, it’s a little too early to push it too much. I’m still trying to figure out whether or not I should run on Sunday.

splits:

1st 5: 32:25
2nd 5: 32:39

Thursday
1^st run: 11 miles in 1:14:22

2^nd run: 3.8 in 26:59

This was kind of tough. My legs were tight and tired from — I guess — not sleeping well last night and waking up early. Plus, I’m putting on the miles again and maybe I’m not adjusted yet.

splits:
1st 5: 33:24.11
2nd 5: 33:44.86

Added an easy run at night. I went out later than I wanted because Brad Lidge was traded to the Phillies, so what are you going to do? Anyway, I went 3.8 miles in 26:59. I fought the slightest urge to run hard — the point of adding the short and sweet second run is not to run too hard. I’m going to have to teach myself to go light.

Friday
10 miles in 64:58

My stomach bothered me for the first six miles, but my legs felt great. Maybe there’s a difference between drinking coffee in the morning instead of Red Bull? You can’t mix coffee with vodka, though.

Either way, I felt great and the running felt easy. I think I’m into it now… we’ll see what happens.

splits:
1st 5: 32:34
2nd 5: 32:24

Saturday
10 miles in 67:31

My stomach bothered me again — I think it might be the ibuprofen. Other than that, it was a slight drag to get out of the house. Still, I ran rather well and my legs felt decent. I didn’t push the pace really at all… I just kind of settled in.

I think I’m going to try to get up tomorrow morning and go to Harrisburg… we’ll see.

Sunday
10 miles in 58:23

I ended up staying awake all last night with a stomach ache where I worried about whether or not I OD’d on ibuprofen. Either way I’ve officially decided that I’m finished with ALL drugs. And I mean ALL drugs.

Anyway, I pushed myself out the door and ran to Mountville. I started out solid but not spectacular though I really ran hard from about 2 miles away and broke my course record. Interestingly, I paid attention to the terrain and noticed that there were a lot more hills than I thought on the route.

It was a pretty good run.

Better yet, my stomach isn’t bothering me as much as it did yesterday, though I’m starting to get a headache… it’s always something.